Ecclesia Crucis

Making Distinctions

I am reading a wonderful book right now about apprenticeship models of learning and teaching.  In this book Alcoholics Anonymous is lifted up as an apprenticeship process.  In order for an individual to participate in the A.A. process he/she needs to identify as an alcoholic.  If you are a non-alcoholic you cannot be a participant in the A.A. process.  (Of course to identify as an alcoholic is precisely the most difficult step – but required for ongoing participation in A.A. none the least.  Many folks try out A.A. two or three times before being able to stick with the process.  The question of “being ready” is a part of the process of becoming a member of the A.A. community.)  The second distinction after self-identifying as an alcoholic, is whether one is a drinking alcoholic or a non-drinking alcoholic.  A drinking alcoholic is not the right choice.  The community of A.A. exists to help support one’s ongoing, yearly, daily, or hourly movement towards being or becoming a non-drinking alcoholic.

Individuals make similar distinctions about their faith. 
The first: I am Christian.  I am not Christian. 
Variation of the first: I am Christian. You are not Christian. 

The second: I am a practicing Christian. I am a non-practicing Christian. 
Variation of the second: I am a practicing Christian. You are a C & E Christian, a non-practicing Christian.

It dawned on me this morning that Mainline Protestants, in general, are completely uncomfortable making these distinctions.  Sure, we may make fun of C & E Christians behind closed doors but we would never question their identity as a Christian.  Nor should we.  And as for practicing our Christianity?  That’s up to the individual to decide whether they self-identify as practicing or not.  Who am I to judge?

However, by not encouraging these distinctions we do not help our cause as a community.  Communities, by nature, need boundaries.  Christians who make distinctions are stating clearly who they are and what they represent as a community of faith.  Like A.A., their community of faith has limits and boundaries: you are a member or not.

Mainline Protestants do make distinctions, however.  We make the safer, less judging distinction – between denominations and among ourselves.  I am Lutheran and this is why.  You are not Lutheran and this is why.  I practice Lutheranism the right way.  You practice Lutheranism the wrong way.  As long as our distinctions remain within the realm of human brokenness and not in God’s work we can be as harsh and cruel as we want to be.  When it comes to internecine conflict about worship we are at our worst.

Which distinction is worse?  Christian? Non-Christian?  Practicing? Non-Practicing?  Lutheran?  Non-Lutheran? Who am I to judge? 

Dissertation Progress

I wish I had more to report.  I hit a wall on Wednesday, after feeling really good about my progress until then, so I needed to shift gears.  I'm working on chapter three for the next few days and hoping that will give me some inspiration to turn back to chapter two. 

Intro:        12 pages
Chapter 1:  a readjusted 50 pages
Chapter 2:  9 good pages - 45 draft pages (well written but not organized)
Chapter 3:  some thoughts; reread the main book

Pressing on...

Kids and Temperament - Part II

So I'm continually thinking about this topic of kids and discipline.  Our family just ended a rough summer during which we let go of the day-to-day discipline in favor of "getting through the day."  It took a few weeks but the "please and thank yous" have returned for TT and the incessant screaming of BB whenever Mommy leaves (even if its to use the bathroom or start the washing machine) is beginning to subside. 

What I've learned from the temperament book is that TT's natural disposition is to be discouraged so a transition that included Mommy being away for a great deal of time, a new house, a new au pair, a new school, a new church, and a "new one-year BB" who can certainly steal Mom and Dad's attention with her antics -- was unbearable.  With a three-adult team now more on the ball TT is assuming her charm, vivid imagination and wit again -- all traits I adore.  Her new preschool, which is at the church we attend, is teaching her all about God and Jesus.  I couldn't prune a tree yesterday without being scolded for hurting God's creation.  Tonight we heard that "Jesus died the dinosaurs because Jesus love us."  (I'm still trying to figure that one out but suffice to say she thinks it's a good thing that the dinosaurs are gone - "they are mean".)

So what about BB?  The last two nights she was awake between 11:30 p.m. and 12:20 am, again between 2 and 3 a.m., and screaming again at 5:15 a.m.  I finally caved yesterday and gave BB the bottle I think she wanted all night at 6:00 a.m. and she slept soundly until her sister woke up around 6:45 a.m. LZ fought the battle last night and this morning.  We finally gave BB the bottle around 7 a.m.  She is incredibly persistent. 

I found little comfort in this behavior trait for BB in the book: "Because BeiLing wiggles so much, she completely wakes up at the end of many cycles."  There is nothing helpful that follows that sentence.  I think I'm going to have to pull out "The Secrets of the Baby Whisperer for Toddlers" for a solution.  (By the way, while searching for the link I also found The Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems (by Teaching You How to Ask the Right Questions): Sleeping, Feeding, and Behavior--Beyond the Basics from Infancy Through Toddlerhood for a BARGAIN PRICE on Amazon.  I'll order it an let you know what I think!)

Off to write for the day!

Kids and Temperament

I'm enjoying a book called Temperament Tools: Working with Your Child's Inborn Traits.  It seems as though LZ and I have a Tarita Turtle and a BeiLing Bluebird.  For the most part these caricatures are spot on.

Tarita Turtle is the low energy, easily discouraged child.  Her motto is: "Life is too hard."  For our little TT we need to keep certain ideas in mind...
* Break tasks into small, easy parts
* Offer frequent encouragement
* Plan ways to work around frustration
* Share tasks
* Teach her how to ask for help.

BeiLing Bluebird is the active, easily frustrated child.  Her motto is: "Let's Go! Oh Crap!"  For our little BB we need to keep these ideas in mind...
* Break tasks into small, easy parts
* Offer frequent encouragement
* Plan ways to work around frustration
* Share tasks
* Teach her how to ask for help.

How did we get two who are easily frustrated?  Where is Pulu Puppy the moderate temperament child?  Or Camber Chameleon, the low energy, highly adaptable child? 

The motto in our household is as follows:
* No whining...use a strong voice
* Consistent discipline is a must
* New chore chart to be introduced later this week for TT with tasks broken down into easy parts
* One afternoon nap for TT and two naps for BB (for now)
* Afternoons and Evenings must be low-key but scheduled and predictable
* ...and bedtime is always the same time: 7 for BB and 8 for TT because...
* TT and BB constantly need adult attention.

So that's why we're so tired.

Dissertation Progress

Here it is.  My official progress report.  I have the intro and chapter one nearly finished. 

Intro:          12 pages
Chapter 1:   47 pages

Tomorrow I plan on finishing chapter one and beginning chapter two.

Wish me luck!